I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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