She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I understand Curling. That high.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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