wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
