Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
