I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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