a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
