next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
