I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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