Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
