i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
