You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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