the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize