Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Randomize
