I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize