it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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