just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
