I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
