remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
