oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
