am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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