Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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