she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
