well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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