My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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