i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
