Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
