So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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