@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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