I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
