I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize