I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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