the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
