She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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