I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize