My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize