whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
