I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
