dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
