You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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