Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
