He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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