Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
