I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
