he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My vagina just clenched in fear
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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