I need help removing her.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
