16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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