dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
