I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
