Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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