im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Everything about him screamed your future.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
