wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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