I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize