Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
