So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
