Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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