do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
