Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
