Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
