i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
