thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
