man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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